Where's Adam?


"Being single sucks!" "I miss getting good morning texts." "I hate sleeping alone." "Where's bae?!" Girl...please hush! We all dislike the long periods of being single, but the truth is, these periods are more beneficial than we think. Now, I am not saying that it is easy, but being single for awhile will allow you to grow in ways that would be impossible if you were tied down to someone. 

In the past, I've had "little boyfriends" and guy friends here and there. However, I have never been in a REAL relationship. Yes, I am 20 years old and have yet to experience that. It used to bother me so bad at one point that I began to lower my standards and allow just about anyone into my space. I even allowed myself to get caught up into a guy who was the very opposite of what I needed. This consequently led to me being so scorn that I barely want to open up any guy anymore. The point is, I should have never lowered my standards or thrown away my morals just to have somebody by my side. When God gives you time alone, He wants you to be ALONE. It took me about 2 years to figure this out. However, I now can see that the reason I am 20 and single is because I am in a period of healing.

It was once said (by someone important, not sure who) that "it would be foolish to date during a time of healing." A time of healing is for you to actually HEAL; not to shift your focus to another human when you're not even right with yourself. The problem with us women is that we hate being alone. We feel that we have to ALWAYS have someone. When one falls off, we have another one in our back pocket. We long to be loved and to have someone give us attention. So, instead of allowing God to do this and to heal us, we seek out men. The more men you allow into you heart and your body, the less you will have to give to the one that God has for you...your Adam. 

The Bible says that the first man, Adam, was created by God, in His image and likeness, directly from the dust of the ground... We will never be ready for a man that is living his according to God's word if we are not healed. The only men you will have in your life if you are not fully healed are those who are toxic to your growth. Not that these men are bad people necessarily, but they are bad for you in that moment. God wants us to be fully equipped for our Adam.

No, I am not saying you have to be perfect and have absolutely no hardships in life to have a good man. You will always have trials no matter what, but God wants us to "spiritually mature." That is how you attract like-minded people. When you are maturing spiritually, you will begin to realize that you cannot allow just anyone into your space and especially not your heart (this includes friends as well).

Being single can be a true test of faith. It can be a time of vulnerability, doubt, confusion as to why you're single, and lost hope. This feeling of loneliness is difficult, but it is happening for a reason. I am a true testament to this because I still find myself feeling down about being single sometimes. However, I remind myself every day that God does not bring us through a season for no reason. I am not ready for a relationship; not even a companionship because God has not allowed it. Once you accept that fact, you will find it easier to allow yourself to heal and to pay closer attention to whatever God is trying to tell you.

Embrace this time in your life and enjoy every bit of it. Date yourself while God nurses those old wounds. No seriously, DATE YOURSELF. Take care of YOU and make sure YOU are happy before catering to someone else's needs. Don't worry, your Adam isn't going anywhere.