Okay, so it is 2016 now and we aren't getting any younger. It is time for us (ladies, especially) to get real with ourselves. You know those situationships and meaningless "talking periods" we allow ourselves to go through? Yea, it's time to put an end to that! It's time for us to wake up and realize that we are a part of this issue. That's right, I said it. WE need to own up to the part we play in these dead "relationships." I'll be speaking from a woman's point of view, but this is for men too.
In the past, I found myself in a situation where I continued to give my time to someone who continued to waste it. Instead of walking away, I just kept lowering my standards and expectations to justify my relationship, better yet, my situationship with him. Now, I knew better...I KNEW BETTER. I KNEW that I was worth more, but I allowed his empty promises and sweet nothings to cloud my judgement. I know we are all familiar with the saying, "what you allow will continue." It's real y'all. You give someone an inch and you better believe they are going to take a foot...a YARD. Now, I am not saying I am to blame for his "F boy-ness," BUT I am in control of what (and who) I allow to enter into my space. Do I regret going through this? No. I learned a valuable lesson from it. It was a lesson that I already knew (mama warned me), but just like a child, I had to test it out for myself. A hard head definitely makes a soft behind.
Taking responsibility does not mean beating yourself up and feeling bad about yourself because you think you made a mistake.
Like I said before, you are not the cause of someone not knowing how to treat you. You are not the cause of a BOY not being capable of being the MAN that you deserve. Let me say that louder for the ones in the back; YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF A BOY NOT BEING CAPABLE OF BEING THE MAN THAT YOU DESERVE. I am only saying that (most of the time) we set standards for ourselves, but as soon as a guy we REALLY like comes along, we begin to compromise those standards. Then, he STILL doesn't live up to our expectations and we end up hurt. Does this mean that we should feel stupid? No. We just went through something that is completely normal, but has given us the wake up call we needed.
We have to stop giving mediocre guys our all. If we continue to lower ourselves in order to be on the level of the guys that we THINK we want, then we will forget our worth. Our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls are too precious to let just anybody with a cute smile and a smooth voice have access to them. We must be selective, careful and prayerful in our dating journey. No more games, no more time wasted, no more nonsense. We must take a stand and let these guys know that we are children of the King and we deserve to be treated as just that...nothing else, nothing less.
Reminder: You're more valuable than a gem. Live your life with this in mind!