Journal entry from June 22, 2018
I sat on the balcony outside of my hotel room and watched lightning for the first time. I mean, I've seen lightning plenty of times, but this was the first time I've ever just sat and watched it. I wasn't alone because two women sat with me, but I still felt as if I was alone with God. Tonight was special. It was needed. Tonight, I uncovered my deepest, darkest fears and struggles in front of two women who I know but only because of work. However, I felt God speak to me through them.
I told them all about my mental health battles and how tough it was for me growing up as an anxious child. I revealed to them my fears of failure and inadequacy. I opened up about things that I don't normally tell people that I do not consider my true friends; however, I found that we all have similarities when it comes to our struggles and fears. I felt heard and understood. Most importantly, I felt God.
I believe that He got me away from the distractions of the city and brought me to a place of peace and tranquility to speak clearly to me. This was the first time in a long time that I felt extremely connected to Him. This entire trip felt as if I was being revived. I've had organic experiences with nature that made me feel closer to Him. I've had the opportunity to step away and enter a new place of worship that allowed me to freely praise Him. I've had a change of scenery that reformed my mind and spiritual being. For the first time, I watched the sunset without any disturbances, without anything preventing me from gazing at the sun until night fell.
God revealed His beauty to me, and for once, I was able to take it all in without the world around me intervening on my experience. Thank you, Father, for showing me your face through your creations. Thank you for speaking clearly to me. Thank you for the revelations and clarity that I received. Thank you for walking with me as I discovered more of You.
Until next time.