It is currently after 5 a.m. as I type this. The Lord woke me up earlier than I am used to and now I know it is for a specific reason. As I've stated in previous posts, I deal with anxiety (which I am denouncing today) and it sometimes causes me to have weird feelings like the one I woke up with this morning. Lately, I have been praying that God helps me to strengthen my relationship with Him and we all know He has a funny way of answering prayers sometimes. I feel that a lot of times He gets my attention through my health and He certainly has my attention right now. I have been feeling extremely, I mean extremely lonely these last few weeks and I feel that God is really opening my eyes to why I feel this way.
My junior of college is when I really began to have a relationship with God, but my senior year is when I really began to get to KNOW Him more than ever. After I graduated, I was still on the right path to getting to know Him even better, but as time passed, I noticed that I wasn't as close to Him as I was before. I started neglecting all of my spiritual reading materials and only briefly looking over scripture. I started saying meaningless prayers sometimes, unless I was really in need of something. However, God continued to bless me. It's like I got comfortable. Like in any relationship, sometimes one partner gets too comfortable, knowing that the other will always love them and be there. Then, the partner who is giving their all to someone who is too comfortable will begin to feel neglected. We should always fight to have a strong relationship with the ones we love and never take their love for granted.
I'm reading a book entitled, I Don't Wait Anymore by Grace Thornton. Each chapter provokes thought by placing a question or statement that you should write about at the very end. The last chapter I read said this: Describe how in your life, you have either viewed God as someone you're striving for or someone you have in your pocket to ride with you through life. I'll admit, I have been keeping God in my back pocket. I wrote something similar to this in my post Confession Time: I Cheated on the Man I Love and I feel like I have cheated on Him again. I have been searching for something in the world that only God can give me. My loneliness is due to me not spending as much time with Him as I should. I haven't given Him my all and He created me to do so.
God doesn't want to be in our pockets and only there when we need Him.
He's not like something that you just pull out when you think you need Him because realistically, we need Him ALL THE TIME. He wants to be number one in our life, as He should be because He is the reason we have life. I am confessing my neglect of Him and asking Him for forgiveness. If you feel that you have neglected Him and would like to do the same, pray this short little prayer:
I confess that I haven't put you first in my life. I have kept you in my pocket and used you only when needed the most. For that, I am truly sorry and ask that you please forgive me. Please help me to know you better and to gain a better relationship with you. I want to grow closer to you because you are my Father, my best friend, my everything. In the name of Jesus I pray,
Why do you think it is so easy for us to leave God hanging as a friend and hard for us to let go of people in our life who we love, but may be toxic to us? Why is God so disposable for us? Comment your thoughts below!